A woman was feeling really horny and wanted her husband to fuck her. He didn't feel like it, he just wanted to read. As he was
reading, he would reach over every once in a while and rub her cunt. She said, "If you don't want to fuck, will you stop teasing
me? "He said, "I'm not teasing you, I'm wetting my fingers so I can turn the page!"



After fucking his girlfriend in the back seat of a car, a man threw the used rubber out of the window.  A little boy who was
walking by picked it up. The man's girlfriend was really embarrassed and tried to trick the little boy into giving the rubber back.
She said,"Little boy, I'll give you $10 for that..errr...uhh..umm...twinkie you found!"
"Ok," the boy said.  The little boy ran home with the ten bucks and said, "Mommy, mommy, guess what?"
"This lady gave me ten dollars for a twinkie I found on the ground and I had already eaten the cream out of the middle!"

There was a lady, after a rough divorce, who was looking for a purely sexual relationship. In order to find someone to fill this
position, she places a classified ad in a local paper advertising her needs. Later, she is talking on the phone to a friend about
how poor the response when the doorbell rings. She gets off the phone and goes to answer the door. To her dismay, there is
no one there."Down here" she hears. She looks down to see a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on her doorstep. "How can
I help you?"
"I'm here about your ad"
"But you have no arms and no legs, how can you help?"
"Well, I rang the doorbell, didn't I?!"

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".