Mickey and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court. The judge said, "Look here, Mr. Mouse, I can't grant you a divorce from Minnie."
Mickey was stunned. "Why not?"
"I've reviewed all the information you gave to the court, but I can't find any evidence at all to support
the allegation that she is crazy."
"Your Honour," Mickey retorted, "I didn't say she was CRAZY, I said she was fucking Goofy!"

A bloke is driving along the country lane when
he comes across a bad accident scene. He jumps out and runs over to see if he can be of any help. There is a badly injured man lying on the road bleeding to death and the paramedics are giving it all  they've got.  Mouth to mouth, pumping the heart etc, but no luck. Suddenly another car screeches up to the accident scene and a women jumps out and runs over to the dying man. "Let me see if i can help" she says and proceeds to sit on his face. Secounds later there are signs of recovery and the man and the man begins to regain consciousness.  "How did you do that?" asks the paramedics.  "Easy" she says, "he didnt need mouth to mouth, he needed a blood transfusion!".

There's this guy on at bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.
>Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next   to him, takes the drink from the guy, and gulps it down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just
joking. Here,... I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a  man crying." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was
thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!!!"

WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST  SEXIEST DANCER????   :-)))

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