A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with
nothing on from the waist down.  "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.
This was your Grandma's idea!"

A young punker gets on a cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multicolored hair that's green, purple, and of course orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers.
He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him for the next ten miles.
Finally the punk gets self conscious and barks at the old man: "What are you looking at you old fart....didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?"
Without missing a beat, the old man replies: "Yeah. Back when I was young and in the Navy, I got drunk in Singapore and had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

One day there were two boys playing by a stream.
One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked.  The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running.  The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend.
Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away.
The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."